KiDLAB studies the nature, origins, and consequences of narcissism in children. Why do some children develop narcissism: feelings of superiority, a sense of entitlement, and craving for respect and admiration? What are the consequences of narcissism for children’s social relationships, academic achievement, and mental health? And how can we raise children’s healthy self-esteem instead of narcissism?

With the rise of individualism since the 1960s, Western parents have become increasingly concerned with raising their children’s self-esteem. This is understandable, given the benefits of self-esteem for children’s health and success. However, parents’ well-intentioned attempts to raise self-esteem may inadvertently breed narcissism. Our work has uncovered the fine line that runs between narcissism and self-esteem, the unique developmental origins of narcissism and self-esteem, and novel strategies to raise self-esteem without breeding narcissism. Our work has demonstrated the benefits of realistic feedback (rather than inflated praise), temporal comparisons (rather than social comparisons), and unconditional regard (rather than conditional regard). We have integrated these findings in theoretical models of narcissism, such as the tripartite model of self-regard and the Status Pursuit in Narcissism (SPIN) model. These models provide a solid foundation for future efforts to cultivate healthy self-esteem in children.

This work received support from the Dutch Research Council (NWO), European Union’s Marie Skłodowska-Curie Actions, Research Priority Area YIELD, and the Royal Netherlands Academy of Arts and Sciences (KNAW).